Things that people do or say to me that really annoy me, in no particular order of annoyance:
(but you can probably guess what gets me the most riled up...)
"You should spend more time with me and give me more attention then those girls; they really aren't your daughters, after all."
Ah. Well, they, the Missus, and I think differently; we call ourselves a family because we chose to be a family. If you don't like that fact, that's kind of too bad for you.
"You should submit all your blog posts and forum thread messages to me so I can edit them for proper content; you are a detriment to my business interests."
Um, no. I prefer to remain stubbornly independent and stubbornly honest, thank you. You may which to rethink your business model.
"You should have only the people I want in your gaming group; I should have the final say on who may or may not game in your house."
I've stated my views on diversity and inclusiveness before; anybody who wants to play, gets to play. If you don't feel that suits you and your political agenda, please feel free to organize a game group with the people you want in it.
"You should run your spectacular games at my local convention, so I don't have to travel very far to play in them."
As I've said before, I have very limited resources and energy. If you want me to show up at your event, contact me and I'll send you my Events Guide and a quote.
"You should let me have a guy who works for me stop by and pick up your miniatures collection, so I can use it at an event I'm running."
No, thank you. I've had enough problems with retail theft over the years that I don't see a need to encourage wholesale theft in the future.
"You should support my convention that I want to run, because I'm a really important person in the OSR."
See above; ask for the Events Guide and a quote.
"You should not be using miniatures in RPGs; Gary Gygax said so."
When was the last time you talked to him, if I may ask? He had a rather different opinion when I talked to him about this, on the order of "If you like it, do it."
"You should game properly, the way we in the OSR do it; you are doing it all wrong."
Sorry; feel free to blame Gary, Dave, and Phil for this. I've been doing games the same way for over forty years, and I see no reason to change anything now.
"You should promote my product on your website."
Is it of any use to me? I think you really should read my blog before you make your request.
"You should use other figures in your games; the ones that you have are naked!!!"
Do you close your eyes when you get in the shower or bathtub? (I could ask if you bathe at all, but I will try not to be rude.)
"You should rearrange your house to suit what I want to do when I come over for a visit."
No, sorry; not enough time, not enough energy, and it is our house, thank you. Get stuffed.
"You should pay for my fun."
Any particular reason for this? Just curious.
"You should write your book in the style of my favorite author."
Sorry; I'm not that good a writer; I'm speaking in my voice about the antics of a bunch of people sitting around a rickety old Ping-Pong table in somebody's basement. This is not particularly serious literature, I suspect.
"You should include my adventures in your book, because I am an important person in gaming."
All right; when were you part of our Original Thursday Night Group, out at Prof. Barker's?
"You should paint your figures in the style that I like; I don't like how you do them, and I think you're not very good."
Probably true; I still paint them the way I did forty years ago for Phil, and I'm not likely to change at this late date. I can suggest some really good painters for you, though; just ask.
"You should change your shelving in your game room; it is inappropriate for the storage of such a valuable collection."
I made my shelves myself, and I kind of like them; one set was my first project with my Third Daughter, and I have no intention of getting rid of it. Don't look, if it bothers you. Or better yet, don't visit, as I'd like to spare you the trauma of seeing furniture that does not meet your high standards.